Cooking Made Easy?

Many, many, MANY moons ago, my ex-boyfriend's mother bought me "The Beginner's Cookbook." As you can guess, I haven't looked at it much over the past seven or eight years. 

So I thought, "Kimberley, you suck at cooking. Maybe it's time to find that book and learn something." So I went to the bookshelf, found the 256-page cooking textbook -- and was instantly reminded why I chucked it to the side years ago.

Let's start with "Part 2: Before You Cook," shall we? (Brace yourself people.)

UTENSILS: "Before you begin to cook, you need to consider the utensils you will need. Everyone has a favorite tool for a particular job but there are a few basics you really need."

Knives: small vegetable knife, serrated knife, cheese knife, grapefruit knife, canelle knife, cook's knife, bread knife, carving knife and palette knife (spatula). 

Next...Other Cutting Tools: cheese slicer, mandolin slicer, lemon zester, apple corer, vegetable peeler, cherry pitter, kitchen scissors, pastry or cookie cutters and mezzaluna. (To be fair, the book does say that although "good cutting utensils  make life easier" they are not essential "if you have a good set of kitchen knives." ...Unfortunately, I'm lucky if I can find a "sort of" sharp knife in our apartment.)

Next...Spoons and Spatulas: "A small selection of spoons and spatulas is important, and adds character to your kitchen." ...Metal spatula, large wooden spoon, small wooden spoon, spatula, ladle, slotted spoon, basting spoon and measuring spoons.

Then the book moves on to: Equipment. ...Pastry boards (not necessary if you have "good" kitchen counters), cookie sheet, cake pan, springform cake pan, quiche pan, pie dish, muffin pans, cooling rack, heatproof bowl, mixing bowl, flour dredger, pastry brushes, rolling pins and baking beans (which, for years, have been used to weigh down waxed paper or baking foil).

Next...Cookware. ...Milk pan, regular pan, a large pan with lid, skillet, steamer, wok, omelet pan, griddle, roasting pans, casserole dish, ramekins and a souffle dish. (But have no fear, the cookbook says. You can start with "one or two" to get going, "then add to your collection as your skills develop.")

Next...Other Kitchen Tools. ...And according to the book, these are just "suggestions for additional things that will make life easier and make you look like a real professional."
Colander, measuring cup, imperial/metric kitchen scales, strainer, digital kitchen scales, balloon hand whiskers, double potato masher, large kitchen tongs, small kitchen tongs, sharpening steel, oven thermometer, sugar thermometer, kitchen timer and cutting boards.

Next...Electrical Equipment. ...Blender, standing mixer, food processor and hand mixer.

Talk about sensory overload! Twelve 12 pages in, I have yet to see a recipe and I'm feeling frustrated that I, a) have no idea what half these utensils are and b) have no room in my tiny apartment for two knives, let alone 10!

Now, in no way am I panning "The Beginner's Cookbook." It's chock-full of helpful nutrition information, cooking techniques, and pages upon pages of recipes. But, personally, I find it overwhelming. Maybe it's just me, but when you have a phobia of the kitchen (except when you're using the microwave, of course), it's daunting to read 12 pages of cooking utensils before you read anything else.

(OMG, I just stumbled upon a recipe for "Treacle Tart" -- Harry Potter's favorite treat! I had no idea it actually existed. I thought it was just something J.K. Rowling made up LOL. ...But alas, I don't have an 8in quiche pan or metal pie dish, a flour dredger or a round-blade knife.)


(image courtesy of reallynicerecipes.com)